Why Aliens Love the Internet

16 09 2008

In 1985, an alien (incognito as Bill Gates) hiding somewhere within the Lake Washington vicinity devised prototypes of what he thought to be the most perfect weaponry to manipulate human brains and annihilate this dismal planet. Instead, he created that thing we call now as Microsoft.

That is a true story—at least that’s what I like to believe.

We humans worship aliens. We assume that they are so sapient they could invent spaceships to invade Earth. Our assumptions might be true. But who knows, they might just be as dumb as we are. Supposing that there already are extra-terrestrial beings inhabiting the land we live in, I bet they love the internet.

These are the 3 reasons why:

1. Our planet’s interconnection of computer networks provides that Bruce Almightyempowerment. Just as Jim Carrey experienced being God and in effect getting whatever he wanted; our alien pals would be instilled with the idea of extreme luck. This fortune comes in the form of spam mails and pop-ups.

Come on, what galaxy can you find 3 different Nigerian bank managers giving away 2 billion dollars a day right at your inbox? Not to mention the excessive freebies and exciting offers popping-up here, there and basically everywhere.

2. Earth is the porn hub of the universe. People would do anything for money; be it plain nudity or coitus involving animate beings (e.g. dogs, horses, cows, sheep, goats, elephants, snakes (?) and about every other animal you can think of). Girls can even be bribed to wear alien costumes.

Given our panoply of choices, visitors from other planets would feel just at home.

3. Communication is as easy as taking candy from a baby (cobra). No matter how many light-years their home planets are from our world, contact with their loved ones is possible! Well, not really. But we’ve seen the mushroom soup bowls in Mars, so it is very likely to create a connection with (literally) out-of-this-world beings. Just wait a couple of years, 25 years, give or take.

But then again, Y!M (Yahoo! Messenger) might just be our secret connection to the outer space.

Those are the most sensible reasons I could come up with. Admit it or not, alien invasion is probably going to occur eventually—not in the near future I suppose, but nevertheless possible. Fifty years ago, who would have thought that paper-thin cellular phones would be invented? Just imagine how Galileo’s face would have looked like if someone told him that human beings can now communicate with other-worldly creatures. Ah, probably more spectacular than Da Vinci’s Mona Lisa.

The internet is growing; evolving as each day passes. Just as we were comfortable with that state-of-the-art web connection, also known as Wireless Fidelity (Wi-Fi), inside our homes, Starbucks and other business establishments now provide wi-fi within their shops. Asian countries have already adopted this, including Singapore, Japan, and the Philippines. Now, creatures from outer-space would not find it difficult to chat with their human friends.

Well, if aliens have already landed here on Earth, it’s not just a small world, but a small universe after all.

Hakhak.

XXXxx



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56 responses

16 09 2008
batopik

LUTSSS!!!
Elyen urselp!
Mga Kaurian.
Nyahahaha!!!
=P

16 09 2008
Richmond

SIGE SIGE PAGBIGYAN. hehe

16 09 2008
Jonell

I hate internet.

Bakit nandyan pa si What About Steven at Indie Sikat.

Suck them.

16 09 2008
Jonell

Nasa ym mo ba ako? huhuhu.

16 09 2008
Den Relojo

Ang tagal yata bago na-update yung blog mo.

16 09 2008
Jowell

This is so true! Kahit ilang linggo ka mawala basta ganito mga posts mo pagbalik okay lang. Haha. Then again, keep updating will ya?

16 09 2008
lyingwithclotheson

purke ba i love the internet, elyen na rin ako?! heheh 😀

maligayang pagbabalik! hehehe

16 09 2008
mumusakanto

aliens!!!!! 😆

17 09 2008
mj_pintasera

Wow, this is funny and…informative. cute. cute

17 09 2008
jemjuicie

wicked! 😉 haha!
marami pala talaga kayo…

17 09 2008
prosetitute

Come on, what galaxy can you find 3 different Nigerian bank managers giving away 2 billion dollars a day right at your inbox?

madami ako niyan. tinatamad lang tlaga ako magsend ng mga info kaya di ako yumayaman tsk.

17 09 2008
Jmar

Someday, living in the world will be virtual and everyone will rely on wires and blinking lights to survive everyday life and soon enough from then, wires will be replaced by some radioactive material which sends out some waves of information in space which will be a necessary need for the human brain to function. Then, human brain will be replaced by microchips, blood vessels will soon be electrical wires, and our bones will be stainless steel. Parang si Asero lang without the deadly weapon and the dumb plot structure for a television series (LOL). When that time comes, the world is already ruled by Darth Vader and Voldemort’s dementors, one of which is some smart-ass dude named Bill Gates. And on that time, the Earth is already called as Microsoft Vista 3000 XXX. And the rest will no longer be history. Hehehehehehe.

20 09 2008
Laarni

You did not mention plurk or twitter. 😛

22 09 2008
neex

Naghahanap ka ba ng kauri mong elyen, kuya rime? xP

may blog na nga pala uli ako. paki change nalang po link. ^^
salamat..

22 09 2008
neex
22 09 2008
tammy_bear

lab it. 😀

23 09 2008
Kat Carneo

I have a lot of those e-mails from bank managers offering a mutually-beneficial transaction, not to mention me winning some kind of lottery, or being an heir to some person who died and just happens to have the same unusual last name as mine.

http://katcarneo.wordpress.com

23 09 2008
shenmue

yippe naka update na rin at wapak ang galeng!

24 09 2008
kris jasper

I can only agree.
in a span of just 5 years, even our own earth bound internet has evolved.

it’s faster, more colourful, more interesting… so those aliens will surely jump in here to try it.

24 09 2008
Hachi

i want to communicate with elyens!!!

26 09 2008
Lois

may y!m ka ba nung mga kauri mo kuya rime? muwahaha.. antayin ku na lang yung invasion nila. haha! nice post. i labb itt!

27 09 2008
xG

internet is a different world of its own
hahaha

there is something beyond
that is unexplainable
🙂

30 09 2008
ka bute

harharhar.. i cannot agree more. it’s a small universe after all. korak. hahahaha. 🙂

1 10 2008
clown

information is power.
the world is flat.
connected by coaxial cable.

1 10 2008
Jonell

Ang busy mo talaga…

4 10 2008
prosetitute

SHAMELESS PLUGGING!

kung ikaw ay natuwa, nahilo, nagulat, naiyak (o kahit ano na lang), sa entry ko para sa e[kwento]mo na pinamagatang Sanlaksang Katanungan, lubos kong ikagagalak kung iboboto niyo ito. Paano ba ‘ka mo?

1. “pumunta lamang dito sa link na ito.

2. mag-iwan ng isang komentong nagsasabi na binoboto niyo ngang talaga ang Sanlaksang Katanungan ko haha.

pwedeng ganito:

(a) yeah, im making boto for Sanlaksang Katanungan, because it was like, you know, nakaka-cry.
(b) kahit hindi naman maganda at puno ng typo, sige iboboto ko na rin ang Sanlaksang Katanungan kasi ang kapal ng mukha nung author na magpromote ng sarili niyang entry,
(c) i vote for sanlaksang katanungan. period.

3. at para i-confirm ang boto, mag-eemail sila sa email address na gagamitin niyo sa pagboto, kaya naman please regularly check your inbox 😉

hindi ipinagbabawal ang pagbabasa ng ibang entry. basahin niyo na rin baka sakaling magbago isip niyo 🙂

maraming salamat! 😉

-prosetitute

7 10 2008
rspencer

aywan ko hu ba ser piru nakakaalew hu talaga ang entirnit. itu hu ay naembintu para sa taung lunirs kase hu eyan lang hu ang paraan para makakunik hu sela sa owtsyd world o sa ebang tau. mabohay se bell gayts!

9 10 2008
mangbadoy

nose bleeeed naman ako sa entry mo! pero educational!

11 10 2008
H.

Hi,

I’m H. and I work in a company interested in blog advertising. I found your blog engaging and I’m contacting you to ask if you are interested in blog post sponsorship.

If you are interested, kindly mail back at k5sino@bigstring.com, indicating your blog for reference, and I’ll send you back pricing details, guidelines and processes. Looking forward to doing business with you.

Sincerely,

H.

11 10 2008
batopik

namimiss ka na daw ng mga fans mo!
kamusta ka naman. magblog ka na ulit!!!
kesa naman magplurk na walang kakwenta kwenta.
hahahahaha!!! natutuwa na ako sa new moon.
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! hehe!
bili ka ng breking don. tas peramin mu aku.
hakhak!

17 10 2008
proseti

xlinks? 😛 hahaha

19 10 2008
jeniffer

love ko pa naman ang internet… since ng ipinanganak ito sa mundo.. iba kasi ang dala nito sa buhay natin.. “magaan” parang feather..

30 10 2008
paspasan

anggaling. >:)

27 11 2008
Den Relojo

I agree. Earth is the porn hub of the universe.

30 11 2008
ate honey

musta ka na bro?

4 12 2008
Cindyrella

being an alien is gud though.. ^^

6 12 2008
Mel Alarilla

May I invite you to please join Filipinos Unite!!!. You may do so by commenting on my blog or by sending an email at melalarilla@gmail.com stating your name, address, name of blog and its url. Thanks and God bless.

9 12 2008
Hazel Jones

Hi,

I’m Hazel Jones and I work in a company interested in blog advertising. I found your blog engaging and I’m contacting you to ask if you are interested in blog post sponsorship.

If you are interested, kindly mail back at teamcasino[at]dcemail[dot]com, indicating your blog for reference, and I’ll send you back pricing details, guidelines and processes. Looking forward to doing business with you.

Sincerely,

Hazel Jones

16 12 2008
ami

hindi ko alam kung bakit pero parang nahilo ako. dumudugo ba (ang ilong ko?)

23 12 2008
batopik

psst! oi. Pasko na sa loob ng dalawang araw!
MERRY CHRISTMAS TREEEEEEEE!!!
Hakhak! ^-^
nagbago ka na talaga.
isnabero amp! badtrep!
katakot tuloi mag pm.
hakk!

24 12 2008
Mel Alarilla

Hi Rimewire,
Here’s greeting you the very best of the Christmas season. May the Lord shower you and your family with countless blessings this coming year. Thanks for joining Filipinos Unite!!! God bless you and your loved ones always.

Mel Alarilla of Filipinos Unite!!!

26 12 2008
barrycyrus

happy holidays!

2 01 2009
eloiski

ang tagala ng walang post ah!
blog na ulit!
hekhek!

happy new year!
late man late pa rin!
hekhek!

19 01 2009
Mel Alarilla

Dear Fellow Member of Filipinos Unite!!!,

We enjoin you to please copy and paste the Prayer Tag and Link For The Philippines and The Filipinos and post it at your own blog. You can add your other blog/s at the end of the link or if you have only one blog and are already included in the link, you may repeat your blog’s name at the end of the link. Be sure to utter the prayer for 9 consecutive days or as often as you can. Tag as many bloggers as you can, preferably Filipino bloggers. But only bona fide Filipinos will be included in the official registry of all Filipino bloggers. As a service to our fellow members, may we request you to please visit at least 10 members a day- 5 members that you know and 5 members that you do not know so that we can help each other improve our page rankings. Please copy the whole post from the picture to the end of copy sign.

Thank you very much for your wholehearted support of this project. God bless you and your family always.

Very respectfully,

Mel Alarilla of Filipinos Unite!!!

22 01 2009
Madnote

I just read earlier today that 32% of internet users would prefer internet over sex according to this geek survey I found on lj…

wala lang XD

29 01 2009
jem

whoi..balita ko nasa earth ka pa rin daw..kelan ka uleht magbblog?

1 03 2009
Mike

Just passing by.Btw, you website have great content!

_________________________________
Making Money $150 An Hour

9 03 2009
deejay

the time is nigh. be prepared, human. we shall take over this planet and we will win. -alien

30 03 2009
we're2seatsapart

ramon..beware..here comes the…..*TOOOOOOOT*

30 03 2009
we're2seatsapart

ramon beware..hehe

30 03 2009
we're2seatsapart

Ironic as it may seem, I have invariably been an advocate of computer gaming. The math wizards in my high school class have always been the ones urgent to go home [by home I mean computer shop] to play Counter Strike or Battle Realms, because DotA was not as popular then as it is now. So judging from the types of people who play computer games [e.g. college professors, dean’s listers, fishball vendors], the public assumption of “gaming freaks failing their academics” is seemingly inapplicable.
_-_-SOOOOOOOOPERRRRR DOOOOOOPER right.. haha..ngaun ko lang binabasa blog mo..busy kc ako…hulaan mo cnu ako…

30 03 2009
we're2seatsapart

mondragon…part ka na pala ng schoolpaper nyu d mo cnsb sakin.. ako din naging editor ng isang page,nalimutan ko kung anu un basta tungkol sa mga balita,eh wala akong kahilig hilig sa news kaya nagback-out ako..haha..kaya eto tigang na tigang na ko…hmmm wala ako magawa ngaun eh kaya pinaflood kita ng comment..college pala ang maglalabas ng tunay mong lakas haha..nga pala,,i love calculus..so much..kaw d ba love mo din un?aminin… cge bye…

ps…
pakihanap mo nga ung picture ni gretchen baretto haha.. =]

17 04 2009
Philippines Travel Blog

You made your post hit to the head, i wanna laugh and think that this relate us somehow.., thank you for this post.

19 05 2009
Knick Knacks

I love the spam reason. I actually thought it was real the first time. Good thing my mom found out before I replied! Hehe.

12 11 2010
noypi

Nice one.. 😀

15 11 2010
athena

makikidaan lng po…

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