Mama Don’t Preach

20 07 2008

My mom is corrupt.

For about a decade now, my ermats has worked for the Department of Social Welfare and Development, that’s DSWD for Christ’s sake. They are the ones who respond to those filthy government-hating squatters who, like puppies, come wagging their tails when storms flood their homes.

People hate you when you work for the deviI mean, President or her associates. Everyone, including close friends, begin to lose trust, thinking that you are indeed working for The Devil. The typecast kills—erm, or maybe not.

The thing is, every time a typhoon hits Cavite, gazillions of goods (i.e. rice, noodles, canned stuff, etc.) need to be packed and delivered to poor people who are either homeless or drowning in accumulated urine, I mean rainwater. An oversupply of those goods always occurs. Since my mom is a Social Worker, she’s one of the few who does the packaging and delivery. And of course, she gets to bring home the extra sacks (yes, sackS—as in plural) of rice, noodles and canned sardines. [Not to mention the bond papers, yellow pads, and ball pens she brings home everyday.]

Even the simplest people bend towards the wicked. And if I were God, corruption would be something I’d hinder. Of course and then some…

God complex, I have none. [Hakhak, I love this wordplay.] But if I could play Almighty for a day these are the things I would do:

1. Destroy the Ateneo—In my wildest dreams, I imagine myself inside the Ateneo campus, incognito, carrying an explosive and anytime, ready for a suicide bombing delight. Hakhak. It’s a joke. [Or is it?] Well the point is, education is so overrated. If you graduated from college, does it secure vantage in life? No, it doesn’t.

That is why I’d like to make education inexistent, or superexistent (if such exists). Meaning, everyone will have fair knowledge. No one knows more than the other. Thus, no one can brag to be a genius.

In short, I will Disprove the Genius.

Hakhak.

2. Annihilate Banco de Oro—Money, money, everywhere, but no money to spend.

Those coins and paper bills are objects I love and loathe at the same time. I love it when I have them, hate it when I’m broke—just like everyone else. So, if I had the power to do so, I would erase money from the depleting face of the earth.

No money=No crimes.

3. Make Piggy Banks From Politicians—I’d love to see corrupt people as piggy banks. Just imagine, they’re face down, naked, a hole in their backs serve as a coin slot. Just like a piggy bank. Why? I don’t know. Just for fun maybe.

4. Dispatch Animal Abusers—Out of all people, I hate animal abusers the most.

I do not have a pet but I am into equality. It’s cheesy, but I believe that every living creature has a right to live. I’m not vegan but I am planning to be one.

It would be my profound pleasure to view these unforgivable sinners inside cages and/or being chased by lions in a field.

And last but not the least…

5. Burn Bullies at Stakes—If there was a part of my life that I want to forget, that would be high school.

Whoever said that high school is the best part of life hasn’t gone to TNCHS. It’s like hell, squared!

Hakhak.

I am a train wreck right now. My self-confidence is currently at the zero level. My social life, too, is inexistent. And I owe it all to those effin’ bullies.

I’ll put them at separate stakes and slowly burn them, until it reaches their faces. As they burn, their skins melt. Large boils form in their faces. They‘re screaming for help. No one answers. There are people. The people just stare at them. Laughing. Enjoying the scene. Then laughing again. Alas, their bodies rescind. Their hearts stop beating. They’re dead. They’re ashes anyway, so nobody cares. Enough of the morbidity, it gives me chills [Eeeeh.].

Hakhak.

In real life, I’m not this radical. I ‘m just stoked from my math assignment. I wish I was god so that math would not exist at all. Hey wait, that’s the point of this post.

May we be superheroes or average humanoids, we have dreamed of being superior, of having more, of taking control of everything. We have indeed been infected by the god complex once or twice in our lives. But we live in non-fiction. Everything’s real. Every day is a new challenge, a new chance to say “I wish I was God.”

But the truth is, we can all be Almighty. We can’t just wait for Morgan Freeman to pop-up and say “I’m God, and guess what, I’m giving you my powers.” Move now.

Be GOOD. Be GOD.

Hakhak.

This is my entry to the Blog Challenge 05: Almighty For A Day

XXXxx

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59 responses

20 07 2008
batopik

haha. ayus ung nanay mu ah.

hakhak

balew

XXXxx

20 07 2008
batopik

bastos. biglang nagsubmit comment. tsktsk.. ayan nalimutan ko na.. tsktsk.. ikaw binubully? haha! wala sa hitsura. ang sabi saken ng titser ko nung elementary, kung gusto mo daw hindi maging corrupt balang araw, maging titser ka.. yun na daw ang pinakasafe na trabaho. kasi hindi daw talaga maiiwasan ang mga ganyan. ung aunty ko ngang madre eh…wala lang.. yun na yun. hahahaha! xP

korap nga nga ang mga guro eh

saykolojikal bullying

hakhak

XXXxx

20 07 2008
aLps

I don’t know why you used Ateneo as a metaphor or as a representative of all those “overrated” schools in the country.. Hehe..

One famous sociologist said that we are born innately good and smart. The introduction of all human construction, e.g. education, ruins those positive innate human characteristics. Hehe.

mahabang kuwento ung sa ateneo

hakhak

nosebleed

XXXxx

20 07 2008
Adriyano

Ei… thanks for linking my site.

Anyway, I can see that your site has a nice amount of traffic going on. How did you do it? Give me tips, pare.

amatyor lng din po ako

hakhak

XXXxx

20 07 2008
ayyzzz

Dispatch Animal Abusers

awe! wag naman! baka isa ako sa madistpacha!
malupet ako sa mga pusa e! haha..
i hate dem! so much!

rime,..sa kahaba-haba ng entry mo yan lang ang naintindihan ko!
bwahahaha..dumudugo ilong ko! hahaha..

ah meron pa pala akong naintindihan
teka, macopy-paste nga…

“But the truth is, we can all be Almighty. We can’t just wait for Morgan Freeman to pop-up and say “I’m God, and guess what, I’m giving you my powers.” Move now.

Be GOOD. Be GOD.”

nice! nice! lab it! 😀

HAKHAKHAK!

hakhak

tenks po beri mats, kaya nga pala mahaba yan kase may minimum amount op words sa challenge na sinalihan ko, kelangan 700 words

hakhak

XXXxx

20 07 2008
minjie

huwaw, binuking mo talaga nanay mo..it’s good that you’re honest though ahehe. anyway, it’s the reality in our government, oh and i agree with number four… especially the dog/cat eaters arghh. and number three is kinda awkward. pagaya ng signature tawa mo.. hakhakhak 😀

hakhak

ganyan talaga ang elyens

XXXxx

20 07 2008
themiseducationofzapped

Trivia: Do u know that we really can become Gods and Goddesses? It’s the mere reason why we were sent here, given the commandments and trials to help us gain experience and wisdom.. and the greatest of all gifts, if we were able to surpass it all is -we will become like God and make our own dominion.Have u ever thought how he became a God? -He was once like us even before we exist, and followed the same road and overcame it all triumphantly. And that is his Gift. the gift of EXALTATION. To become what He is now. So simple yet it’s something that most people don’t understand. This is the reason of our existence as children of God. That is His plan. Us His children, to become like Him someday. Kung ang bata nga nagiging tatay diba? Ganun din tayo. How to become God?-follow the instructions.( commandments.)-un lng.

TOP SECRET YAN AH?

Mejo mahiwaga alam ko. Kaya nga Zapped, PhD eh. hehehe… Anyway, salamat
sa pagbisita mo sa iskul ko. Nakilala mo tuloy pamangkin kong maldita. hehehe.. Pwede ba kita i-enroll? Classes going on!

hakhak

nosebleed

hakhak

syur, pa-enrol!

hakhak

XXXxx

21 07 2008
ifoundme

if you are making an organization with those objectives, pwede ba akong sumali? bwahahaha! i have one condition though, you become God and i be just a supporter.. bakit? wala lang. trip ko lang sabihin tsaka nakikigulo lang ako sa mga sinasabi mo.

hakhak

super elyens powers

hakhak

XXXxx

21 07 2008
barrycyrus

Don’t be so fierce on ateneo! lol.

hay kung alam mu lng

hakhak

XXXxx

21 07 2008
.mae.

.hehe.

.i’m one of your avid readers na.

.fun way of chilling out here in the net. :]

.got.to.run.
.lots.of.things.to.do.pa.

.thanks.for.dropping.by.anyway.

hakhak

tenks

XXXxx

21 07 2008
spedlaw2

Hi,

I just voted for your blog for Bloggers Choice Awards.

Could you please return the favor at

http://www.bloggerschoiceawards.com/blogs/show/21620

Thanks,

SpEdLaw2

i just voted for u

hakhak

XXXxx

22 07 2008
kamotenista

1. Destroy the Ateneo……hwag naman…..wahahaha

pagaya nga ng tawa mo…hakhakhakhak…nakakahawa!

no comment na lang ako sa iba…..hakhakhakhak

andami nio naman taga-ateneo dito

hakhak

jok lng un

XXXxx

22 07 2008
mahiwagang_sibuyas

maderpakengkeps, dugo-ilong, bula-bibig ako dito ah. hahahahaha

Now, this is the most engaging, rational, and the most enthralling blog-entry i’ve assimilated since god-knows-when.

Juklang! wla tlga akong na-gets. bobitski ako eh. hahaha

But yeah, make piggy banks from politicians. i’ll commemorate that. 😉

hakhakhak

hakhak

genyan tlga elyens

saka entri ku kase yan sa blog challenge eh

tpos minadali ku pa

senxa na

hakhak

XXXxx

22 07 2008
raf

Hijo, maghunos-dili ka… Breathe… Hehehehe.

hakhak

XXXxx

22 07 2008
webslave

OFF Comments:

hehehe..

uu nga talo ka elyens! hehehe.. indi kasi lumindol~ hehehe

thanx God.


webslave

asar nga un eh

hakhak

XXXxx

22 07 2008
lyingwithclotheson

ei your smart! can we be friends? hahaha..

apir! i like your opinions.. (note: it may sound so lesbian or whatnot but i am not and i am not hitting on you! babae ako. lalake ka ba?! hahaha 😛 malandi pala) anyway, back to the point. people like you are the type of people i want to sit down with and talk to.. alam mo un.. yung alam mong seryosong tao pero kwelang kausap.. apir!!

if i could be god for a day?! id prolly.. nah! i havent really thought about it 😀

i have this friend who used to twist kitten heads till the kitten dies.. i dont know if he still does that.. he said he used to do it for fun.. share ko lang 😀

hakhak

lalake po ako, hakhak

syur we can be friends, ayan prens na tau

hakhak

nku kawawa naman ung kiten

hakhak

XXXxx

22 07 2008
shenmue

gus2 ko yung number 3… loooove it sana nga magkatotoo… atenista aq pero i dislike some of my fellow ateneans kasi they behave as if smartest sila nde naman lahat tseh!

AYLABYU!!!!!!!!!

kureeeeek!!!!!!!!!

hakhak

XXXxx

22 07 2008
carL

dami nila pro-ateneo..uy, don’t forget to make bati to me sa site ko huh! uy, may admirer! hehe..

hakhak

syor!!!!

hakhak

XXXxx

23 07 2008
nickname™

hmmm. i love the morbidity. while reading this, i was thinking you were The Joker, laughing while torturing those bullies. hahaha! 😆

Nice entry. 😀

hakhak

kurek

hakhak

elyens

XXXxx

23 07 2008
zeniamai

It is a shame that you didn’t get to finish this post before the deadline… Next time nalng, anyway, marami ka naman napatuwa sa post mu.. 🙂

Apir! hakhakhak – hehehe

actually sabi nung admin pwede pa daw eh, kaya aun kasali pa ata ako

hakhak

eniweys

hakhak

elyens

XXXxx

23 07 2008
mang BADoy

walang nanay nanay sayo a! heheheh 😛

hakhak

galit aku sa ermats ku eh

hakhak

XXXxx

23 07 2008
Indie Sikat

nakakadugo tlg.

pahumble ka pa

XXXxx

23 07 2008
taps

lasalista ka? hehehe

hindi

hakhak

XXXxx

23 07 2008
buzzing flowerpecker

corrupt ako. Nasa opisina pa ako at nag-iinternet. 😀 Yung ulan kasi ayaw tumigil (ginawa pang dahilan yung ulan).

Gawa ka na nga ng bagong mundo. yung walang skwela, walang pera-pera, walang abusado sa hayop. Pag natapos mo na, baka pwede na akong mang-squat.

hakhak

syor!!!!!

XXXxx

23 07 2008
superordinary(anonymous na padaan-daan lng)

gusto ko ‘yung no. 5. (ngunit ‘di gano’n ka-grabe. aus ah.) ~panuorin m s Crunchyroll ung Nobuta Wo Produce o LIFE~ sana may isang blog tungkol sa bullying. Anak ka ba ni Rizal o isa kang Bob Ong?

ayheyt rizal ngunit pan aku ni babung

hakhak

XXXxx

23 07 2008
superordinary(anonymous na bumalik den)

gawa nga ren aq ng wordpress blog. angaleng m kc.

hakhak

sige!

XXXxx

24 07 2008
bw

Amen ! I agree with everything you said. Count me in 🙂

hakhak

XXXxx

24 07 2008
blogchallenge

Hi. This entry is now one of the finalists for the Blog Awards Challenge 5. Kindly visit the site and vote.

Good luck!

tenks!

hakhak

XXXxx

24 07 2008
meiji

elyen, i can vote even im a blogger user right?
ayoko pala sa processor nosebleed ako dun eh nyahaha waheheh

24 07 2008
meiji

crap, scratch my last comment just read the rules… my vote goes to your entry 😀

hakhak

tenks beri mats

tunay kang klasmeyt!

hakhak

XXXxx

24 07 2008
qubeley

alam mo ba na isa ka siguro sa mga dahilan kung bakit nagagawa ‘yon ng ermats mo…at saka kinakain o ginagamit mo naman yung mga inuuwi niya, diba? pero suhestiyon ko, maghunger strike ka…baka sakaling mapansin ng nanay mo na ayaw mong kumain ng mga pagkaing galing sa tira-tira ng mga donasyon o sa gobyerno.

sinu may sabing auko?

sabi ku lng naman eh “My mom is corrupt.”

hakhak

ansarap kaya ng NAKAW mula sa kaban ng bayan [yung mga tax niu]

hakhak

XXXxx

24 07 2008
piapot

hahaha astig ang ermats mo tsong!
i’ll agree with what you said!
pati dun sa sinagot mong comment,
hahaha teachers?
bilang sa kamay ang totoong teacher ngayon…
marami instructors
kasi mas magiling sila maginstruct kesa magturo! lol

24 07 2008
piapot

at dahil naaliw ako sa mga sinabi mo…

ilalagay kita sa blog roll ko…=)

tenks!

kurreeekk!

hakhak

XXXxx

25 07 2008
PEN PALABOY

isang boto para sa iyo..

tinamaan ako sa numero sinco..baka masunog ako.. whapeng! :)…

kung mamarapating magdagdag ng elementong kurap sa lipunang ito.. nariyan ang mga blue boys.. pasintabi sa inyo mga bok. subalit ano n nga ba ang imahe ni mamang pulis sa panahong ito???

hindi ako henyo..pero isang libong KUDOS para sa iyo! 🙂
padayon!

hakhak

salamat tu da maks

hakhak

XXXxx

25 07 2008
repah

ah.. parang gusto kitang mging almighty kso medyo violent ka ng kontie.. pero pwede na ..

hakhak

saws

hakhak

XXXxx

25 07 2008
Disturbed Stranger

Lol great entry! 😉

oh and btw… I learned to play the piano at 3… am I disturbed?
I am a disturbed genius 😉

and what’s hakhak?

not necessarily disturbed, but if you think you’re a genius then you are crazy

hakhak

elyens

XXXxx

25 07 2008
wei

astig! tama lahat ng sinabi mo..
and I think, everyone wants to be somebody to escape the pain of reality…

‘ELYENS!’ haha

hakhak

tenks

XXXxx

25 07 2008
mhar

putragis na entry to, nakakadugo ng ilong! grabe sa deep english. maderpak talaga, anyway… ayos ka talaga mag-isip.hahaha

saws?

hakhak

XXXxx

26 07 2008
niña

tsktsk. may take out scheme na pala ngayon sa dswd.

but i have to thank you for not wanting to destroy true genius – UP. haha. happy centennial mga kapwa ko isko’t iska! 🙂

hakhak

op kors

XXXxx

27 07 2008
kamo2

haha ou madaming kurap pero mas maraming kurap ang mata sa nangyayari.
titser nga ng kapatid ko bawal daw walang baon pag walang baong pambili sa recess ililipat ng section haha.

hakhak

parang sa men den nung elementary ako

hakhak

XXXxx

27 07 2008
angel

torture! orayt! ako din di maganda memories ko nung highschool.. Binu-bully ako kasi lagi akong tahimik, pero sila yung maagang nakakarma at di na nakakapag aral.

Gusto ko yung number 4..

hakhak

parehas tau, ungbully samen nadelay ang koleyds

hakhak

XXXxx

27 07 2008
Jmar

me, i will everyone equal in every way. sounds boring. lol.

boring nga ang ganung buhay

hakhak

XXXxx

27 07 2008
Adriyano

Naligaw ako tae… Dun ako sa blogspot mo napunta. Nagtaka ako kung bakit parang nag mukhang wala budget yung blogsite mo yun pala dito ka nga pala sa wordpress. Pero napansin ko active parin yung blogspot mo ah. Bakit ka nag wordpress? Baka sakaling maliwanagan ako…

hakhak

masaya kasi ang wordpress, mas madaling magbloghop at magcoment, ibig sabhin mas mdaling maki-prens

hakhak

XXXxx

27 07 2008
blogchallenge

Challenge 6 is up. Maybe you’d want to give it a shot again 🙂 Or maybe invite your friends to submit entries.

sure

XXXxx

28 07 2008
prinsesamusang

ibang klase din ang balak mo sa ateneo ah. pero yuhg burning at the stakes tutulungan kita, ako ang magsisindi.

29 07 2008
Mr. 9

can we x links

hakhak

sure

XXXxx

29 07 2008
Geisha

lagot kang elyen ka!
binabasa na to ng nanay mo! hekhekehk

nahawa pa ko sa tawa mo!

hahahahha 😀

galing ng entry! pasok sa banga!

hakhak

d naman mrunong mag-english nnay ku eh

hakhak

XXXxx

29 07 2008
winkii

pakiboto naman po ako para sa idol blog ‘08.
may link po sa blog ko tungkol dun.
salamat!

uke

hakhak

XXXxx

30 07 2008
beero

hakhak. lagot ka sa ermats mo. hehe.

but you’ve got cool ideas man. parang di mo intention magpatawa pero nakakatawa. hakhak.

elyens 😆

hakhak

tensk

itskoldhistayl

hakhak

XXXxx

31 07 2008
Leah

Very imagnative. I like how your mind works. Even only in words, it works! Good luck in the contest….and yes, on your next math exams.

hakhak

tenks

XXXxx

4 08 2008
utakmunggo

huwag naman ateneo 😦

hakhak

saws

XXXxx

6 08 2008
Kat Carneo

You’re gonna be one cruel God. But I agree about the bully-burning thing. I was a prey in grade school and the girl who made my life miserable went as far as pushing me into a puddle of mud, and throwing my lunch–at my face. Please kill her as slowly as possible.

And also, kindly burn my school along with Ateneo.

sige, aywildudat

XXXxx

11 08 2008
urban guru

i wonder why did you choose ateneo as your benchmark? interesting. =D

because it’s exciting

hakhak

XXXxx

18 08 2008
blog challenge

Your entry won the 1st place for the Blog Awards Challenge 5. It was also voted as the Reader’s Choice. Congratulations. You may now claim your badge.

Submit more entries for future challenges 🙂

24 08 2008
mnel

i love this entry. haha. made me laugh. =) congrats for winning TBAC

2 09 2008
Dudong

wow! watta! excellent job…for your mom…

hikhikhik

clap! clap! amazing post…

29 03 2009
pepitosyd

bokteer – sbi ni lawrence! nice thing you remember us while writing your entry – sbi ni syd haha

30 03 2009
we're2seatsapart

ei your smart! can we be friends? hahaha..

apir! i like your opinions.. (note: it may sound so lesbian or whatnot but i am not and i am not hitting on you! babae ako. lalake ka ba?! hahaha 😛 malandi pala) anyway, back to the point. people like you are the type of people i want to sit down with and talk to.. alam mo un.. yung alam mong seryosong tao pero kwelang kausap.. apir!!

if i could be god for a day?! id prolly.. nah! i havent really thought about it 😀

i have this friend who used to twist kitten heads till the kitten dies.. i dont know if he still does that.. he said he used to do it for fun.. share ko lang 😀

hakhak

lalake po ako, hakhak

syur we can be friends, ayan prens na tau

hakhak

nku kawawa naman ung kiten

hakhak

XXXxx

—–hehe.. =] =] rime,alam mo ba naalala ko ung gnawa mo sakin nung hayskul ha??ahaha.. alam ko namang enjoy ka saming rj boys…parehas kau ni ephraim,parehas kau ng gus2ng saktan..c …….. ako din bad3p din ako dun eh..

27 07 2009
name

rime, i am sorry.

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