After Silence

12 06 2008

This is an article that I wrote for my Expository Writing subject. I just found it amusing after all this time. So here it is:

After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.

– Aldous Huxley

I love my solitude. Much more if my eardrum-tearing headset accompanies me. And as the border between the silence of the outside world and deafening sounds I hear blur, I find a solace, the sanctuary for my hidden fiascoes. Until now, the invisible bruises on my heart from that experience remain as malignant mementos. I can still remember that life-changing day clearly, as if it just occurred yesterday.

Two days before Valentine’s Day and everything felt normal. And no, this story has nothing to do with love (read: coincidence). I was in my second year in high school and my life was just starting then. I woke up at 5:30 in the morning, as I did everyday. The sun slowly rose. The orange rays passed through the window pane, piercing the darkness, and into my veins to finally wake me up. And it only means one thing—I’m getting late for my Bio class!

So I hurried up and got out of my bed. Fumbling through the house, I finally found my towel and dashed off to the bathroom. Sigh. It was just one of those days wherein I would take the shortest time to bathe myself. Still hasting, I ironed my uniform and wore it even while it’s still hot. Then, I fried an egg and the left-over rice for my breakfast. I may not remember tasting any of those—but at least I can remember swallowing the food. After that, tooth brushing was done fast. Anyway, I’d be in more trouble if I didn’t speed up than for others to see food on my teeth. Soon after, I woke up my mom, asked for my daily allowance, and took-off.

As usual, looking for a tricycle was a task, but fortunately I found one and rode off to school. The high school was crowded that day (as if it wasn’t crowded any day of that school year). Just think of 4,000 people flocking into one gate. Yes, that’s our population.

I wasn’t late, my lucky day—or at least that’s what I thought.

No one can ever persuade me to expound about what happened that day. The grim, the horror, the pain of seeing everyone amuse themselves over something that I will spare you the details of, all those will stay with me. Everywhere I turned, traitors grinned. All of whom I thought were allies cracked up with the others. I was left alone in a sea where the ocean drifts me further and further from the shore. And everyone stared as I slowly drowned.

I got home at sunset. I didn’t weep, weeping is demeaning. And I’m not that weak. But I was left with a scar that never harmed my aesthetics but menaced my soul.

A part of me died that day. But I found a whole new self within me.

My sibling was playing the radio with maximum volume–again. Surprisingly, I found the noise somewhat enjoying. As if it lured me into a deeper sense of joy.

I never really liked the loud banging of the drums, the high-pitched tunes of the guitar, or the synthesizers that then I thought produced weird sounds. That day was different though. Slowly, I flickered my fingers. Then my head started to move. Unconsciously, I was following the beat of music that before was alien to me.

My deep misery was blared by the heavy reverberations of the stereo. Finally, I found something that will never betray me.

Since then, rock music became my very good friend. It helped me cope up with every problem I had. And I have never been happier.

Now, I am more dark, and dark is often misunderstood. People think about absurd things—that listening to that type of music is baneful. They can think as much about me as they want. I don’t really care that much about other people’s thoughts—I have my own anyway. And my own thoughts are the most cardinal for me.

And until today, every time I feel like giving up, I just turn on my music player and pump up the volume. Nothing beats that bliss for me.

And I look again towards the sky as the raindrops mix with the tears I cry.









3 responses

13 06 2008

hehe.. GOTHIC ka daw sabi ni bok.
hehehe.. XP

music is your very good friend?
ayoss! kelan kau magaaway?!
harharhar! XD

la nako masabi..
ang emo ng entry mu..

ang saya pala magbowling!
😀 hehehehehehe!!! saya!

6 07 2008


20 11 2008

“…my own thoughts are the most cardinal for me. ”
— nice. nice. nice.

“I was left alone in a sea where the ocean drifts me further and further from the shore. And everyone stared as I slowly drowned.”
— Hakhak. wag ka mag-alala, mas exciting sa ilalim ng dagat. aquarius ka pa naman (konek?) si little mermaid excited makapiling (makapiling amp) ka, idagdag mo pa si dugong! Hakhak.

second year ang worst year mu?
tsktsk. da best year op mai layp nga eun eh.
hakhak. wala lang.

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